As you probably know if you’ve read any of my previous posts; I moved to France with my boyfriend in the middle of a global pandemic. This was the hardest and scariest decision I have ever made. I have never been so far away from my grandparents and my fur baby for this long of a duration of time. I would no longer be independent and would have to learn to rely on someone other than myself. (If you know me you know how hard this is for me) I wouldn’t be able to just come home if Kyle and I were to get in a fight and being that him and I share a room, it’s impossible for me to just lock him out. Not to mention I don’t speak French so my ability to communicate with different people in town would be very limited. Nevertheless, I decided to move across the country. I mean, worst case scenario I’m stuck in a beautiful country for a year learning a different way of life and Kyles family assured me that if he was an idiot they would help me get back on my feet. This was a huge relief for me because I was giving up EVERYTHING with no back up plan for if things didn’t work out.
I have officially lived in France for a month and I am truly grateful for this experience. The first couple of days were really hard. I had A LOT of things that I needed to personally work on. I packed my bags to go home on three separate occasions in my first two weeks of living here. I missed my dog Ziggy, my little brother and my grandparents more than I could ever put into words. I was thinking worst case scenarios constantly and it took everything in me to get out of bed. This could’ve also been due to the seven hour time difference but still I felt like there was no reason for me to get up. I would cry myself to sleep with a feeling of deep regret. What had I gotten myself into.. Luckily, I no longer feel this way. While it can be boring at times because we are still in the middle of a global pandemic. I am using this time to learn French as well as bettering myself as a person. People are very welcoming and understanding. They truly go out of their way to make sure we are comfortable and don’t feel like outcasts. I have no longer been taking my antidepressants and adderall which has made a huge impact on my mental health in a good way. Like I said, I’ve only been here for a month in which we have been on lockdown for most of it. I can already notice the positive impact on my life. I’m sure I’ll have better stories once I am able to actually explore but just wanted to give you a little update on things so far💜